Monday, December 1, 2008

WIsh in one hand...

My mother used to say, "wish in one hand and shit in the other and we'll see which fills up faster." When I was growing up, I heard that particularly charming colloquialism at least once a day and it infuriated me. It was her answer to, "I wish I had some ice cream" or "I wish I didn't have to go to school" or "I wish I could take dance lessons like the other girls." The more it irritated me, the more she seemed to be entertained.

Probably it was her way of getting back at children who each had an inflated sense of entitlement since her "when I was a girl" stories didn't seem to have much of and influence on my my sister and me. It was hard for us to imagine the kind of poverty she described, especially since she seemed so self indulgent by the time we came along. Regardless of the reason, she repeated that phrase like a mantra until we learned to stop beginning sentences with "I wish."

Despite it's abrasiveness, Mom's mantra has real meaning in my life today. I've spent this year mostly wishing for success. I've spent a little time blogging about it and a lot of time commiserating with friends and coworkers about weight loss struggles. Most of what I've done boils down to wishing, and while I have no intention of cupping my hand over my bottom instead of using the commode, I think that I can see which up faster.

I think I need to be more action focused. I need to find ways to ensure that I will win more of those difficult moments than I lose. That said, I've devised a plan of attack. While this month is certain to be a time of joyous celebration, it's also laced with no fewer than 15 get togethers of one variety or another. All are sure to be positively replete with scrumptious things to eat and some tempting libations. I've mapped out my events and prioritized. For the get togethers that will be at restaraunts, I'm picking my meal ahead of time. For those that take place at someone's home, I intend to eat something filling and healthy before I go so I won't be as tempted. There will be precisely one (pre Christmas) event during which I will indulge in dessert. I will go into each event with a detailed, well rehearsed plan.

This planning worked well for me on Thanksgiving. While I started off being determined not to obsess over potential weight gain, I also didn't want to make it a feeding frenzy. The menu at my mother's house almost never varies, so I was able to decide ahead of time what was worth it and what wasn't. I brought a yogurt and a banana which I ate while my family was enjoying a pre meal chocolate munch. I decided early what I would allow myself to eat so I could feel in control. I also tried to make people the focus of my celebrating instead of food.

I'm also laying out some more realistic goals for this month. I'll post these later today or tomorrow.

So I hope you're joining me in my efforts to stop just wishing for success!


Hanlie said...

Great post! I have also spent more time talking than doing, but am now on the right track.

Well done for planning ahead for the festive season! We can be festive without overdoing it!

new*me said...

I have learned over the years, that if you want something, it's going to take hard work.........and that's exactly what losing weight is!

Melissa said... dad use to say the exact same thing to me! It brought quite a flashback. Be gentle with yourself. I lost 105 pounds and have kept it off for more than 2 years. I've been blogging about it...maybe you can check it out - I liked what you said about goals vs. rules. It is great to have goals, but sometimes they need to be readjusted from time to time. I just try to remember this journey is about the progress. Perfection is an illusion, and as soon as we get that, things move much smoother. Hang in there.