The Stages of Change

My favorite blogger, PastaQueen, whose blog, Half of Me, continues to chronicle her successful struggle to lose over half of her body weight, has written a lot of things that have resonated with me. Most of the time, reading her blog is amusing, thought-provoking and awe-inspiring. Usually, what she writes makes me take a long hard look at myself.

I haven't kept up with PastaQueen along her entire journey. Actually, I just stumbled upon her blog last month and haven't been able to stop reading it yet. She posts nearly every day and has posted her jaw-dropping, rotating progress pictures that demonstrate a metamorphosis that is nothing short of amazing. However, while snazzy progress pics are inspiring, what really hooked me on her blog was her complete and fearless honesty throughout the process. Her false starts are well documented and her journey has not been a straight shot to success. (Which is good, because I might hate her if it was!!)


Psychologists indicate that humans almost rarely make or sustain entirely linear changes in their lives. Most of us don't just decide to give up donuts and pizza and then go another 50 years without ever calling Domino's. Rather, people tend to cycle through the stages of change which include precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance and relapse.

While in the precontemplation stage, an individual isn't even entertaining the idea of changing. He or she might be in denial. When a person enters the contemplation stage, he or she starts to consider the benefits and problems associated with a change and may begin to consider how he or she will make a change. In preparation a person may begin to make small changes to test the waters. In the action stage, an individual is taking real steps to change. Generally, people enter maintenance when they have remained in the action stage for an extended period of time, such as six months to a year. However, no matter how long someone has been in the maintenance stage, he or she is always a little vulnerable to relapse.

The stages of change are cyclical, and not everyone moves through every stage. I know this is a little like sitting in psych class, but knowing this information has real benefits to anyone trying to lose weight. It demonstrates that it's OK to not go right from precontemplation to action, or to go from action back to contemplation. It's all part of the process.

That's how I view my journey. This time last year I was doing well, but for the past six months, I've been maintaining. Bummer, but not the end of the world. Even PastaQueen, who has lost nearly 200 pounds to date, still reports the occasional splurge. It doesn't mean that she completely goes back to eating the way she used to.

I have reassessed and started attending Weight Watchers meetings and have begun to lose weight again. I'm prepared to face obstacles without being too hard on myself.

For the Love of Exercise

Exercise and I never got along. My unpleasant experiences with physical activity began very early on in the overweight child's fear factory: gym class. As a grade schooler, I could never quite keep up so the other children hated to have me on their team and the gym teacher openly belittled me.

The situation didn't improve in high school. Go ahead, just say the words "the mile run" and I break out in a cold sweat and get a lurching sensation in my stomach. An "A" student in everything else, I ended up just passing gym every quarter.

In college I at least got to pick my poison. I chose non-activity physical education course such as CPR to fulfill my requirement. I tried to schedule my classes so I wouldn't have to walk across campus for my courses. I was afraid to even try to exercise.

Then, I was diagnosed with pre-diabetes. My doctor told me that unless I started exercising to increase my insulin sensitivity, I could expect to become diabetic in the next couple of years. I had to exercise not because someone was standing there screaming at me, but because it was what was good and necessary for my body.

I bought a good pedometer (I highly recommend the Omron HJ-112) and measured my base line of activity. I discovered that on most days I was taking between 2,000 and 3,000 steps. I did some research and was not surprised to discover that I was considered sedentary. I read that while individuals should try to make gradual changes, those who take around 10,000 steps a day are considered active.

So over last summer, I set my sights on 10,000 steps. Nearly every day, I made it a priority to walk twice a day for about 60 minutes at a time. I loathed it at first. It was torture. It was hot and I got sweaty and tired and sore, but I was extremely motivated by fear for my health.

But around July something wonderful happened--I began craving my walks and day dreaming about being out in the air, stretching my legs in the park. It became the most enjoyable part of my day. I had often heard tale of mythical people who enjoyed exercise, but I never imagined that they could be real or that I would ever join their ranks.

Today, I'm still fairly out of shape, but activity has become more a way of life than something I do for 60 minutes a day. I still focus on getting my extended walks in, but I find myself always taking the stairs, parking further away and moving around more.

It didn't happen all at once and I didn't notice it happening. Somehow it did. I found myself jogging across an intersection, keeping up on walks with physically fit co-workers and dancing in my living room. I have even started attending a yoga class before work--not because I was required to and not because I thought I would burn a lot of calories doing it--but because I knew it would be good for my body and I thought it would be FUN!

I did this. I made and sustained an enormous change in my life and I reap the benefits everyday and in case you're wondering, you can too. You may not enjoy it at first; you may hate it so much that it makes you cry, but trust me that the return you'll get makes the struggle worthwhile.

Motivation Matters

Understanding why one wants to change a behavior is an incredibly important ingredient for success. It's wonderful to have a goal, but personally, if I don't have a clear idea of why I want to make a change, I'm doomed. It's easy to give way to temptation when my friends are eating brownie sundaes or to forgo exercise on a frigid February day if I'm not 100% clear on my motivation.

With regards to weight loss, this is by no means my first time around the block. I've tried and "failed" dozens of times. I always thought it was a matter of me finding the right program or food or reading the right inspirational story. But the thing that was common in all of my previous attempts was a lack of the true motivation.

There are lots of reasons to try to lose weight, and many of them are very good reasons. My grandmother wants me to "get skinny" so I can meet someone. For a while, I tried to use that as my carrot on a stick, but that didn't work so well for me. The truth is, I knew I would never want to be with someone who couldn't see the beauty in me at a size 28. Maybe that's unrealistic, but it's the way I feel. Once I realized that, I adopted a "who cares!" attitude and abandoned my weight loss efforts.

A friend told me that I should lose weight to "show" all the people who made fun of me when I was at my heaviest. Success is the best revenge. That worked for a while. I imagined the stunned look on people's faces when I walked into my high school reunion a svelte size 6 or when I sashayed past that guy who rejected me three years ago. Yeah! That'll teach 'em! The problem with that is that while I'm a passionate woman, I could never drum up a rage that could rival my love for Ben and Jerry. Uh-huh. That says it all.

I tried on other motivations. Up-coming weddings, holidays, vacations and milestones. I bought beautiful outfits 2 sizes too small and promised myself fabulous rewards. Punishments for not changing had little influence on me. My knees and ankles ache when I walk, but I didn't care. Instead, I convinced myself that everyone's knees and ankles ache. The truth is that I just couldn't imagine anything that would change my mind--that is until the day I was diagnosed with pre-diabetes.

Both of my parents have Type II diabetes. While my father was just recently diagnosed, my mother had known she was diabetic for the past eight years. She felt helpless, and despite my family's prompting, did nothing. She refused to attend diabetic education classes and she made no lasting attempt to modify her diet. She lost weight, but because she never exercised and consumed a diet which was about 85-90% carbohydrate, she was unable to control her blood sugar. She stopped monitoring it. For the last two years, she has been experiencing some serious complications. She has mobility problems and is partially incontinent. I don't feel like it's her fault; she just couldn't find her motivation.

For years my sister and I begged and cried and rang our hands but made no changes to our own lifestyles. However, learning I was pre-diabetic was like a punch in the gut. I was terrified and acted accordingly. I cut about three quarters of the carbohydrates out of my diet, went to a dietitian and began focusing on getting my 10,000 steps a day.

My diagnosis was a blessing. It was the motivation I needed to make healthy changes. I haven't been entirely disciplined. Between March and November of 2007, I was able to lose 35 pounds. It was slow, but I was patient.

I've been losing and gaining the same five pounds since the holidays began. I haven't made any headway, but my motivation remains and for that I'm truly grateful. I have also found new motivation along the way. The recognition of others, being able to buy a smaller size and walk for an extended period are wonderful incentives.

Every individual is motivated by something different. There's no wrong if it motivates you to do something positive. So what's your motivation?