It's finally happened. I've finally succumbed to the stereotype. I'm 28; I'm single; I'm embittered. I'm not proud of this reality but I'm starting to feel a little like the Grinch looking down from Mount Krumpit observing and helping my friends make their Valentine's plans but not having any of my own.
It grates against my feminist sensibilities to define my value in terms of my ability to find a man to love me. Similarly, I do not feel like I should feel diminished by my inability to do so. However, I get just a little touchy about it this time of year. It doesn't help that, last week, my professor in my Couple's Therapy course asked all of the people who were part of a couple to identify themselves. An island in a sea of raised hands, it was hard not to feel a little like a pariah and I went to bed wondering, "why not me?"
To make matters worse, this was the first year that I legitimately believed that I might not be alone on V-day! I've been doing the online dating thing and have met some real pervs, but I actually founds someone I really liked. He was kind, dedicated to his teaching career and super smart. We sent long, honest and deeply felt emails to each other every other day for three weeks. As silly as it sounds, I was starting to fall for the man that emerged from those communications. To my surprise, he seemed to reciprocate my feelings. I was delighted to meet him and had an amazing time on our date. I guess he didn't have a good time, though. I was crushed and consequently, I am feeling crabby about romance.
So how do I tie my whining into a blog post? I am trying my hardest not to eat my despair. It has always been a habit of mine to eat when things look grim but at a time when my self-esteem is at an all-time low, stuffing my face will only make me feel more disgusted with life. It's OK to feel like shit when life isn't going the way I planned but it's foolish to make things worse but indulging in an unhealthy pattern. Obviously, I can't choose what happens to me, but I can chose how I react to it.
So how will I react? I have no plans tonight. The rest of the world does. So I am going to the gym. I am making myself a healthy dinner and I am renting a movie. I will do my very best to have a Happy SAD!
3 comments:
You made me smile.
Hello there, my name is Edward Platz. I have to say that you are an inspiration to me as I am also a former overweight person.
Two years ago, I was overweight and have all the related problems: health problems, family problems, emotional problems…
At this very day, after 15 months of smart fitness training, not only that I have lost 54 pounds of body fat, but I also succeeded in building a lean and much stronger physique. I am in the best shape of my life and as healthy as I can be!
I am a 36 year old man and a full time single parent of a 7-year-old daughter. I have a very demanding job. And, according to my doctor, my biological age is now, no more then 27! In addition, my ex-wife thinks I am super hot…
Well, what do you think about that? …No, not about the “ex-wife thing”…
At this very moment, I can live the life most people cannot, because I decided to do what most people do not: start a very smart fitness program and a tasty diet plan.
So, please Be Strong and Patient! Persevere!
To your best year ever!
Edward Platz,Full-Time Dream Achiever
Creator,www.IWasOnceOverweight.blogspot.com
HOLY CRAP I feel your pain. And no matter what I say you are going to handle it the way you want to so I won't try to say anything positive or uplifting.
I will offer ONE small recommendation. For a weekly feel good pick me up - tune in to ABC's Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition Monday nights at 10. It's a tear jerker - so you've been warned. But its so positive, so uplifting, so relatable, and so amazing. VERY positive. I think you'd enjoy it.
Sending positive energy your way!
Hey, just came across your blog and noticed you hadn't posted in a while, never give up, blogging is one of the best motivators I've seen for losing weight provided you can stick to it.
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